My Sweet Husband

So, I made mention of my sweet husband yesterday and how he has put up with so much over the years. It often amazes me how much he "gets it" while others don't. Here's someone who came from an intact, wonderful family with two parents (military, nonetheless), two sisters and a dog. He attended the same school system since kindergarten (which I now have little brothers and sisters going to), and his life was wonderful. You can just imagine when he brought me home to meet his parents. I'm sure thier dreams of him marrying a sweet, no-issues girl were dashed the minute they realized I was a disaster inside. At eighteen, I was running away from love, believing that not only was I not worth loving, but worse, I was unlovable. By that time, I had only had a real mom in my life for seven years. Even now, that sounds crazy to me. Seven years of having a family, and then BOOM, I was eighteen and scared to death. It was one of the hardest times of my life. Oh, yes, and my sweet husband, he must have been scared to death as well. Here he had fallen in love with a bruised and battered soul, having had NO experience with the type of grief and loss that was pouring out of me. Even now, I sit back sometimes and wonder how he was able to put up with me. There were times when I cried from such a deep place that all he could do was say, "call your mom" and if you knew him, you'd know how heartbreaking that must have been to him, Mr. Fix It All. He's often begged me to "let him fix it," and when I tell him I don't know what needs to be fixed, he simply states "then let me love you." Last year, one of the hardest things in my life happened. I was forced to face my birth family, head on. To say it was difficult would be the understatement of the century. I was crushed. I remember crying into my mom's chest for what seems like hours, which eventually tunred out to be months. And all the while, my sweet husband patiently stood by, undoubtedly praying that THIS would be the event that healed my heart. Guess what? His prayers worked. It was the event that helped me regain control of my broken heart. Just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes. My sweet husband, who proudly wears his "I love Adoption" t-shirt, has not only earned a first-hand education in foster care, adoption, grief and loss, raging, etc...he has eanred my undying love and admiration. And coming from someone who once beleived she didn't have it in her...that's an accomplishment. So, I thank God every day for Chuck. And I thank God every day for blessing me with such a stable rock. Just last night, as I was whining about what movie to watch with him (we had a choice between "Be Cool" and "Something the Lord Made") I said, "Baby, why don't you watch "Something the Lord Made"??? He lovingly looked over at me and said, "I'm already doing that." My sweet, sweet husband.