Being CJ's Mom
CJ at 15 minutes old...love of my life!
This weekend I became aggravated at constantly being put in a position where I either have to defend my parenting or just ignore snide comments being made. I simply don't understand the crazy world we live in, where I am judged or laughed at for still nursing my thirteen month old son, where it's not good parenting when my son has separation anxiety when left in a church nursery with people he does not know. My Mom and I were discussing it this morning, and we came to the conclusion that people just don't seem to make children a priority nowadays. Call me old fashioned, call me boring, call me overbearing, I simply don't care. My priority is my family. When I was pregnant with CJ I remember people "giving me advice" about fitting CJ into MY schedule. I was "advised" by some that life doesn't have to end when you have a kid, and to make sure I taught him that the world does not revolve around him. Now, these people were well-meaning, I'm sure. I simply disagree with them. I did not have a child so that I could "fit him in." He did not ask to be born, and I believe I should focus on being his Mother. Why is it that in a nursery full of babies, the child who sits in a swing for three hours (Sunday school and church service), never making a sound and never demanding anything is looked at as the best baby in the nursery, while my son, who has very appropriate separation anxiety and who (heaven forbid) gets upset and needs to nurse is snickered at and thought to be spoiled? If meeting my son's needs and giving him extra love and attention is spoiling, then oh well. I find it offensive when people feel the need to make comments about him being "spoiled," as if I am doing something wrong by being a stay-at-home Mom who just happens to agree with scientific data showing that nursing your child is the healthiest and most appropriate way to nourish him.
Yes, my son may cry when left with a stranger, but he knows there are fifty or so people in his family who can take care of him, so he is very well socialized. He is also giving, sharing and loving. He plays well with all of his cousins and he is already sensitive to other people's feelings. Just this past week, as his beloved Aunt Sarah was going through a very sad time, he hardly left her side as he constantly was hugging on her and cuddling with her. Now, CJ is not one to cuddle when given the choice of that or playing with Tabby, Nando and RayRay, but as I said, he is already a sweetheart. So, if the proof is in the pudding, then why don't others just zip up and let me mother the way my heart tells me to. Or as my Mom always says, "if you can't say something nice, be quiet!".
This weekend I became aggravated at constantly being put in a position where I either have to defend my parenting or just ignore snide comments being made. I simply don't understand the crazy world we live in, where I am judged or laughed at for still nursing my thirteen month old son, where it's not good parenting when my son has separation anxiety when left in a church nursery with people he does not know. My Mom and I were discussing it this morning, and we came to the conclusion that people just don't seem to make children a priority nowadays. Call me old fashioned, call me boring, call me overbearing, I simply don't care. My priority is my family. When I was pregnant with CJ I remember people "giving me advice" about fitting CJ into MY schedule. I was "advised" by some that life doesn't have to end when you have a kid, and to make sure I taught him that the world does not revolve around him. Now, these people were well-meaning, I'm sure. I simply disagree with them. I did not have a child so that I could "fit him in." He did not ask to be born, and I believe I should focus on being his Mother. Why is it that in a nursery full of babies, the child who sits in a swing for three hours (Sunday school and church service), never making a sound and never demanding anything is looked at as the best baby in the nursery, while my son, who has very appropriate separation anxiety and who (heaven forbid) gets upset and needs to nurse is snickered at and thought to be spoiled? If meeting my son's needs and giving him extra love and attention is spoiling, then oh well. I find it offensive when people feel the need to make comments about him being "spoiled," as if I am doing something wrong by being a stay-at-home Mom who just happens to agree with scientific data showing that nursing your child is the healthiest and most appropriate way to nourish him.
Yes, my son may cry when left with a stranger, but he knows there are fifty or so people in his family who can take care of him, so he is very well socialized. He is also giving, sharing and loving. He plays well with all of his cousins and he is already sensitive to other people's feelings. Just this past week, as his beloved Aunt Sarah was going through a very sad time, he hardly left her side as he constantly was hugging on her and cuddling with her. Now, CJ is not one to cuddle when given the choice of that or playing with Tabby, Nando and RayRay, but as I said, he is already a sweetheart. So, if the proof is in the pudding, then why don't others just zip up and let me mother the way my heart tells me to. Or as my Mom always says, "if you can't say something nice, be quiet!".
posted by yolie @ 6:44 AM
5 Comments:
At 12:32 PM,
Tina said…
You go girl. My boys are called spoiled because they still sleep in our room "occationally" and they are 5 and 8. SO WHAT. They will be grown before you know it.
Then there are those who say how can you possibly give them enough attention with so many? Well which is it?
At 11:55 AM,
Unknown said…
Yolie,
I had to finally ascribe to a "don't ask, don't tell" philosophy. I nurse longer with each baby; the last 26 months. I switched pediatricians because he told me it was strange that I would continue. The next pediatrician said to just not tell anyone. Fine, I didn't shout it from the rooftops, but I still did it.
And, by the way, now, at 30 months, while not nursing, he still won't stay with anyone else. Won't go to church nursery. No biggie, just gives me more time with him. He'll be gone before I know it.
Good for you...do what feels right.
At 7:47 PM,
Jennifer said…
Yolie, You are so right on the mark. I have faced these comments so many times as a mommy to my three. You know what? They are my children and I know what is best for them. Who cares what everyone elses thinks. Keep your chin up and keep being the awesome mommy that I think you are.
At 4:44 AM,
yolie said…
Thanks for all the comments. It really helps to hear from other parents who feel the same way!
At 6:04 PM,
Amie said…
Amen sister! I am still nursing my 19 mo old with no end in sight and that is just fine with me. You should check out http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/mb/ they are a great source of support for me. I am akmyilee over there btw. :)
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