Fear In Adopted Kids

I just talked to Mom, she's on her way to visit our sister who is in residential treatment a couple of hours away. Usually, Mom can depend on one of her older kids to babysit, although today it just didn't work out, so she had to take Tabby and Nando with her (the rest of the kids are in school). Tabby is almost three and Nando is almost four. Now, these kids have only been in our family for less than a year. They came with two other siblings. I cannot put into words the fear these children have of losing everything they know at the drop of a hat. It's happened to them many times in their short lives and the insecurity they feel is huge. I have found that one of the biggest misconceptions people have is that younger kids are easier to adopt. This is the reason sibs are separated, since people often "only want the younger ones." This really angers me. Tabby and Nando are beautiful, wonderful kids. They are also destrcutive, insecure, non-compliant and wild. They are by no means "easy" children, but just imagine them if they had been separated from the only caregiver that ever loved them...their older sister Sabrina (eleven years old). Tabby and Nando have a huge problem with being away from Sabrina )who they call MeeMaw). They HATE even being in a car. Since they were adopted, mom has only had them in the car twice or so, because they scream the entire time. I know that their little minds and hearts are terrified that they are being shipped somewhere else. They just don't get that you can leave home and return. Well, today, mom had no choice but to take them with her. She knew it was going to be a tough ride. I just talked to her and they are almost to the center. Both Tabby and Nando have thrown up in the van, so upset by the thought of never seeing Meemaw again that they got physically sick. Tabby finally fell asleep (an avoidance technique many adopted kids use) and Nando is still sitting straight up with his eyes wide open and filled with terror. They are so scared. They are so little and don't understand much, but they know abandonment. It brings tears to my eyes to know that at such a young age, they have to worry about whether or not they will ever see their sister again, or whether this new mommy doesn't want them anymore. They cannot articulate it, so instead they scream and throw up. Many adults have never been so scared that they are moved to physical manifestations of thier fear, and yet we have a two and three year old so war torn that they get sick when they have to leave home. Once again, as a society we ought to be ashamed of the way our children are treated. No child should ever have to experience such fear. Thank God Tabby and Nando will have a lifetime of love and committment to build their security around. But think of the thousands of kids their age with no hope of finding a forever family...