The next generation

Joe, Tameshia & Alyssa
Alyssa and Mama waiting on CJ to be born
My niece Alyssa is such a piece of work. She is beautiful, bossy, funny, adorable, opinionated, grouchy and delightful all at the same time. I love all of my nieces and nephews beyond belief, and Alyssa is right there with them. Being Joe's daughter, though, puts her in a little different place in my heart. I am one of the few people who can say that they have known Joe all his life (certainly the only one around now who can say it). Because of that, and because of the heartbreaking place from which Joe has risen, Alyssa represents such hope and redemption for my brother. I have never seen such a change in a person, as I did when Joe became a father. His entire demeanor changed. He took on his responsibility with such determination, never allowing himself to look back once she was here. He has told me countless times that Alyssa will never know grief and loss like we did. In this aspect, he is truly my hero. Although he is my younger brother, and I never thought he'd have kids before I did (Alyssa is nine months, one day older than CJ), I look up to him as a parent. He loves Alyssa so much. She is to him, as well as to me, a symbol of how far we've come. We will raise our children surrounded by love, never doubting it. In many ways, all the children born within our family hold a promise of our futures being brighter. I mentioned to mom the other day how babies seem to have a calming effect on all her kids. Even the toughest kid (Fabian) melts when a baby is brought into the room. He immediately becomes a giggly kid, loving and cooing with the rest of them. My brother Joey, who spent a couple of years in residential treatment (and who's also a teenager...double whammy) is delightful when I bring CJ over. He hovers over me just waiting for me to ask him to rock CJ to sleep or just walk him around (and if I take to long to ask him, he asks me). He carries all my stuff to my car and always comments on how much he adores CJ. It has been this way for every baby in the family. I think that through them, wounded children are able to see hope and purity. Purity is important, because as wounded kids, we often believe that it was our fault. Seeing babies, so helpless and vulnerable, helps us to understand that it was not at all our faults. After all, do CJ or Alyssa deserve to be hurt? Of course not, which means that neither did we. Therapists tried to tell me that for years, but it wasn't until I actually was around babies (namely Baby Yolie and CW as they were the first), did I realize that adults are responsible, not children. These babies were innocent, and thank God, I was able to watch them grow up with love and guidance. They are now amazing kids and I believe that as this new generation grows up, they will do more to heal us than any counseling session, for how could such treasures come from us, if we were not treasures ourselves?