Pissed Off...

Yesterday I heard a terrible story about a group of six (almost seven) kids in a neighboring county who are going through hell. They are pretty much all split up, except for two of the younger ones, and birth mom is pregnant with the seventh. ALL six of her kids have been born crack positive. Her seventh will be too, as her caseworker has been taking her in for drug screens and she has been testing positive. I cannot tell you how badly this pisses me off. Only one of her kids is adopted, because her rights have only been terminated on one child...and that was done in another state. All the other kids are scattered to the winds, all across the country, with various relatives (different dads equals different relatives). Now, DFCS is determined to place with relatives (it's policy), although it doesn't occur to the DFCS policymakers that the MOST important relatives are the siblings!! They should be kept together...duh! Now that the damage has been done, though, the question was put before me regarding the placement of the newborn. A wonderful family has the two younger kids I spoke about earlier. They want to adopt them IF termination EVER occurs, but they are not willing to take on a newborn baby. But, the prospective adoptive mother's very best friend has already contacted DFCS and stated that she would love to adopt the newborn, if termination EVER occurs. The question, does the worker go with this arrangement, or should she move all three into a home where all three will be adopted together? Now, as an avid advocate of keeping siblings together, you may be surprised at my answer. I believe that two wrongs don't make a right. Like I said, the damage has already been done...the sibs have already been separated. Now, these two children are very bonded to this family, and they are probably feeling secure for the first time in their lives. Sadly, one of the kids told his worker that he loved it there because there was always food. Yep, that one made me cry. Anyway, I don't think that those kids should suffer one more move. Yes, they will have another sibling from whom they are separated, but thank God that the person who wants to adopt the baby is best friends with their hopefully adoptive family. yes, you could take the kids from this placement and find a home who would take all three, but who is to say that that one last break in attachment wouldn't be the straw that broke the camels back? These kids are opening up and trusting one more time, and it may be their last attempt. If they are taken away and put with another family, for the sake of keeping them with a sibling they've never even met, they may act out terribly and disrupt that placement, which could result in three totally different placements. Maybe if separating siblings were the exception, not the rule, we would not find ourselves in such predicament.

Now, back to this birth mother. SIX kids born addicted to crack cocaine! She is still being driven around by DFCS workers to get drug screens and I'm sure to appointments to get through her caseplan. She's being given chance after chance...what about the children's chances? They are not getting younger. Minute by minute they are becoming what many people deem "unadoptable" and yet this mother (and I use the word loosely) is being allowed to ruin more and more lives. She shows no remorse, as she currently is pumping her unborn child full of poison. When is enough enough? Where are the children's rights? Everyone is so worried about the parent's rights...her right to finish her caseplan, her right to visit the kids, her right to keep bearing children. You know what I say? She should be sterilized and all her parental rights should be terminated. Just because she knows how to make babies doesn't mean she should be allowed. Yes, I may sound angry and bitter. Guess what, I was that child, waiting on SOMEBODY to do SOMETHING about my situation. My birth mother had CPS history (for sever abuse) dating back to before I was born. My oldest sister was black and blue, at least five years before I was even around, and yet it took until I was ten years old for anyone to step up to the plate and help. We cannot afford to keep doing this to our kids. It's just not fair.