More stuff

It's been a week now since our family lost Bailey. Life, as it does, has continued with a vengeance. Mom blogged about Joey's incident at school and how it's unchartered territory for our family. As the old saying goes, "when it rains, it pours" around here. I still have no insight into Sarah and Preston's loss. I'm still as confused about it as I was a week ago. I look at Sarah and wonder how she's standing, breathing, functioning and then I remember that she IS a Mother, Wife, Daughter, Grandaughter, Aunt and Sister. Seeing Sarah through this has given me a whole new level of respect for her. Through her tears I have watched her pull out a genuine smile for Ray, continuing the legacy of good mothering she will leave with him. She is the type of mother I wished for when I was little. She has endured the worst, the loss of a child, and she will come out at the other end...I have no doubt she will.

As for the situation with Joey, Mom is in a tough spot. I TOTALLY agree with her philosophy of not bailing out her kids. Mom will sit through every band program, soccer match, football game and play we are in, that's her job. She will not bail us out of jail, because what does that teach us? So, where do my lines blur on this subject? Because I do still deal with "adoption issues" my first impulse when Mom and I discussed this was to "justify" Joey's acting out. No, not excuse it but explain it. Yes, he's a dumb teenager with no impulse control. Yes, we've been telling him for years what not to do in order to stay out of jail (literally, at Mom's house some conversations go like this, "If you do that out in the real world, you will end up in jail!"). But, for a "kid" like me the first reaction is "does she still love him (i.e. Me), even when he (i.e. Me) does something THIS bad? Remember how adopted kids think here, "Let's see if she REALLY means what she says about being my 'forever mom'...). What a pickle. So, my suggestion? Joey needs to learn that life choices always have consequences. He also needs to know that he is loved, and even just telling him that through a glass window and a telephone (even though it will make NO sense to him now) will make a difference. Just ask Joe...