Forgiveness

Okay, let me start by saying that this is a tricky subject for me. And also, let me apologize for the references to the Oprah show, but nowadays, my days are spent with many Dr.'s (Dr. Phil), judges (Judge Joe Brown and Judge Judy), cooks (Emeril and Barefoot Contessa) and yes...Oprah. On a recent Oprah show, the subject of forgiveness came up. On the show were women who had been sexually molested as children. As I watched the show, I began to jot down some of the statements being made regarding forgiveness. I was fascinated by them. For example, "Anger is the umbilical cord that keeps us connected to our abuser (or person that hurt you)." Wow. Maybe it's the fact that I'm pregnant that made me jolt when I heard that one. As beautiful as the connection is between my son (who is still inside me) and myself is, I cannot imagine the umbilical cord being anything but life giving and life sustaining. Yet, in hearing this, it made perfect sense to me that without forgiveness, that cord cannot be cut. Another statement was, "Forgiveness allows me to let go of the life he/she forced upon me so that I can get on to the life God intended for me." Double Wow. Yet another..."Forgiveness is not about exonerating them, it's about empowering you." This one is my favorite, probably because one of my biggest struggles has been me not wanting to forgive because then it means "what she did was okay." I have learned in the past couple of years that this is NOT the case. A very wise pastor in my church told me that "God expects us to forgive, but He does not expect us to be doormats and allow further damage to be done to us by the same person." He gave me the example of a man being conned out of money on a shabby business venture. For years, the man could not forgive the one who conned him. Eventually, he worked through his anger and forgave the conman. What he didn't do was go out and give the man any more of his money. Makes sense to me. Anyway, I have found that forgiveness is a process. I feel that I am at a point now that I no longer hold on to the hope that my past could be any different, instead, I choose to look forward and get excited about the life I am living now. Besides, all my unforgiveness and anger never hurt anyone but myself. So, that's my two cents worth on forgiveness. Forgive me if it made no sense to anyone but myself.