Feeling Heavy

(Click on the picture to see it much better. I couldn't figure out what was wrogn with it but it's such a cute picture).

Mom has been on me for a week now about updating my blog. To be honest, I've felt a little reluctant to blog this week, and I'm not really sure why. So much is going on my my family right now, it feels like we've been through more stuff in those two weeks than most families go through in a year. Maybe that's why I haven't felt like blogging. I just don't have anything positive to write. I tend to be a person who takes things in and dwells on them. It's one of my biggest faults, and yet it is also one of the reasons I think I care so much about people. I noticed today that for this last week I have been gloomy. Every day I'm either tired, not feeling well, or just plain down. I've blamed it on the weather, little sleep, my dinner not coming out good (my fried chicken lost it's crunchiness somehow) but today I realized that it's just my reaction to the past couple of weeks. Interestingly, I feel that I have not been there for my Mom as much as I usually am during tough times. While I tried to be there as much as possible when Sarah lost Bailey, I feel that since then I've been kind of "out of the loop." Some things I've learned about from reading Mom's blog. I am usually there for the "big" things, but somehow I''ve managed to not be there. I think I feel guilty, as I know Mom is going through a rough time with all the kids, but at the same time I think I'm just taking it all in and feeling "heavy" from it all. I don't like to see my Mom going through such a hard time with the kids. I also know that this time will pass, as acting out of this magnitude usually comes in cycles, and it was to be expected with all that has happened recently. Actually, just sitting here typing has brought to my attention that perhaps my gloominess is my acting out response to all the stuff going on. Hmmm...at least CJ is still the cutest baby in the world.