Little Man

Found out today that my son could be here in as little as ten days....I'm not ready. I thought I was, but I'm not. Everyone keeps telling me it's the hormones, I'm just scared of the labor part, and "everything is fine," but I am not ready. It seems so soon. I want nothing more than to hold my son, to love him and give him the life I wish I had as a baby. But, somehow, my heart stops every time I think about him actually being here. I want him more than anything in the world, and yet I am scared right now. I guess that's a better way of putting it...I am scared. What am I scared of? I don't know. Will I be a good mom, can I get through labor (the exam today almost killed me!), will the nurses resent me if I do end up inducing on the 4th of July(because that means they are at work and not watching the fireworks!)? Logically, I know the answers to those questions. I WILL BE A GOOD MOTHER (if I yell it loud enough, it will be true!), I have no choice but to get through labor, and labor and delivery nurses are usually sweet and kind. But, heck, since when does logic prevail in the mind of a pregnant woman? So, yes, I am scared. But, I am also VERY excited. I can't believe I could be meeting my son in as little as ten days. Who will he look like? Who will he act like? Just how spoiled will he be? How much more fulfilled will he make my life? How can my heart hold the amount of love I already have for him? When will he smile at me, blow me kisses, snuggle, and crawl? How excited will he be when his daddy comes home from work every day? Okay, now ten days seems like too far away. I'm telling you, this logic things escapes me! So, for what it's worth, my little man will be here soon, and my heart is about to explode!