Yolie's World

Friday, December 29, 2006

It's A Girl!

We found out this morning we are expecting a baby GIRL in May. We are really excited! CJ is not sure about it, as he hollered "NOOOO!!" when we found out. I'm sure he'll love her to death, though! One of each....how fun!

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Some more pictures

My darling hubby had my college degrees framed as my Christmas gift.
CJ enjoying his Elmo chair CJ being way too cute during his bathtime!

Sunday, December 17, 2006

Picture Time

CJ helping Daddy wrap Mommy's present
CJ admiring the Christmas tree (notice no ornaments on the bottom three feet)
Is he a Bubba or what?
Showing off his Elmo shoes
CJ and Mommy at the Botanical Gardens
Gotta LOVE the afro!
CJ and Daddy looking like twins

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Tiny, Broken Spirits

Over the past week I have been getting very emotional thinking about the hard life of thousands (if not millions) of kids CJ's age not getting what they need out of their parents. Every morning, CJ wakes up smiling and asking for "sheewal" or "nana" (cereal or banana)and he knows without a doubt that Mommy or Daddy will get it for him, along with some milk. He plays happily all day long, not a care in the world, except for when his Barney show is over and he gets upset about having to say "bye, bye Barney". His eyes are bright and he has no anxiety about what's next. If only every child, everywhere could have the same security. I was talking to Chuck and my Mom about this, in tears, telling them both how sad I felt for those tiny spirits out there, waking up hungry and not getting anything because Mommy is passed out drunk or locked in her room with some boyfriend. Even worse, when Mommy does get up, she has no concern for the hunger her toddler is feeling, instead she curses at him to stop crying as it will interrupt the boyfriend who might then leave her for having such a "bratty" baby. These tiny spirits are broken every day. I think about CJ being treated like this and it literally makes me sick to my stomach. I look at him and think he would just curl up and die if nobody responded to him, loved him or even bothered to feed him or change his dirty diaper. These scenarios are not out of the ordinary...they happened to me and that still happen to too many children on a daily basis. And then, if and only if they survive those young years, they grow up and nothing seems to get better. Life is an endless battle against perpetrators, abusers, liars and every other kind of scum out there. This is the life out of which most adopted children come. It is not a fantasy world, these things and much worse happen. I look into CJ's eyes and I see so much hope for his future, they are bright and full of life. I wonder what my eyes must have looked like at eighteen months. Certainly not bright, most likely full of fear and insecurity, and I was not even two years old. I can't remember how many times I cried myself to sleep before I turned ten years old. That is not a memory any child should have. And we wonder how or why so many adopted children simply can't get it together. It takes so much to mend a broken spirit...many adults cannot do it after a single tragedy, yet children's entire life, starting in the womb, are one, long, tragic trainwreck in which they have no control and we expect them to get it together. How does one regain those lost hugs, kisses, mealtimes, band aids, praises, winks? We cannot, and yet we must keep moving forward, providing for our children what was beaten out of us at such tender and young ages. It is horrifying to think of CJ having to endure one day of my childhood, and so my life is dedicated to making sure he never will. I wish others who also walked in my footsteps so early on would all do the same, and we could stop the generational mistreatment of innocent, tiny spirits.

Friday, December 01, 2006

Childhood shouldn't hurt

"Childhood shouldn't hurt." This morning I heard a CASA worker on television say these words and they have been stuck in my head all morning. My Mom has had the opportunity to host another big family for a couple of days, and although I live it every day, seeing another family built from the ruins others have left has really touched me. I have watched in amazement as children who truly had no other option have shown tremendous ability in difficult musical arenas as well as in monumental feats like walking and talking. Because their parents chose to make a difference and follow God's plan for their lives, they have impacted these medically fragile children in ways they will never know. It reminds me just how blessed I am. It reminds me to keep close to my heart the great miracle God worked in my life when He chose my family for me. It reminds me that no matter what, with God and family by your side, nothing is impossible. Because people like my Mom and the couple she is hosting choose to parent us, we can overcome obstacles once thought impossible. Because of people like them, childhood no longer hurts.

I was talking to my loving husband about all this over dinner the other night, trying to explain to him how touched I was by the amount of love I felt at my Mom's house. I was talking to him about the six month old baby boy with no arms that the family had come to adopt and how absolutely beautiful he was and how I didn't understand how people could not want to parent the children God gave them. He reminded me that as cute and sweet as this baby was, I must have been too. He had me look at CJ and told me that there was no way I wasn't the cutest baby in the world, with big, dark eyes just like CJ. We then talked about how it wasn't about being cute enough and therefore worthy of love. It was about the birth parent. It was their issue, their loss and God had a bigger, better plan for me. Yes, I was born to someone different, but she was not my Mother. She carried me for someone else...period. She made childhood hurt, but my Mama came when I was eleven and stopped the bleeding and started me on the healing process. For that, I am eternally grateful. I am so blessed.